So Paddy puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick off to Hospital.Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is.The nurse replies, “He’s out in the Rehab again exercising”.And sure enough, there’s Mick out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. And very soon Mick comes back to work.But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head.Wearily Paddy puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Mick to hospital.Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Mick is.The nurse breaks down and cries and says, “He’s dead.”Paddy is shocked, but not surprised. “I suppose the saw finally did him in.”“No”, says the nurse, “Some dopey bastard put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated”.✧ ✧ ✧My friend’s wife left him last week, she said she was going out to get some milk and never came backI asked him how he was copingHe said “not bad, I’m using that powdered stuff”✧ ✧ ✧I hate it when I go to check my Facebook and I’m. "Well I probably the same age as they are," I said with a smile."Nah, you're much younger and you've got nicer tits," said a third lad."Cheeky," I said but I had to smile."Tell you what Missus," said the leader, "you help us dressed like that and we'll do your car for nothing." Yeah, we sure will," piped in another."You're cheeky lot," I said but I couldn't help but chuckle, "ok you've got a deal."My car was park on the hard standing at the side of my house but still it could be seen from the road. So with buckets of hot water at the ready we started washing down my filthy car. Quite a bit of the hot soapy water ended up all over me as they set about splashing me. It was a wonder that the neighbours didn't complain about the noise, what with all the shouts and squeals. Although I live in a quiet road, enough traffic, both wheeled and foot past by for me to feel a little exposed. It didn't take long before we were finished and once again we all trooped around the back."Can I offer you.
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